LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize