so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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