I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
