I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
