I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
