Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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