I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
