soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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