Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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