I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
