if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize