she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
