Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
