i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
