If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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