I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize