He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
