hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
