He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
