the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
