where am i from again
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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