Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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