i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
