D3 body, D1 cock
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My liver just had a heart attack.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
how does that bad decision feel?
the raccoons are back...
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