Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
