a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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