Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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