a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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