I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
