I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
