Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
