At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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