I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
