nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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