we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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