dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
