Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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