So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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