It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
