I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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