S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
