we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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