All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
