I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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