Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
