Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
