A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
