WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
