so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
