he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
