Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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