So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
