I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
