i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
