White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
do herpes really smell.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
