I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
