That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So many bounce houses so little time
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
