Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
