i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
