Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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