Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the gays at disneyland are vicious
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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