i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize